stress

always, always, this time of year is crazy. pre-TAKS days are stressful and they suck for both me and my students. i'm extra busy these days because of after school tutoring and with the added concern of what's going on with my district (and the whole state, really) in terms of education budget cuts and all, i'm even more stressed. several days this week all i've done is come home, eat dinner, and go straight to bed. while i think that's definitely what i needed then, i can't just work, eat, and sleep.

it's time for me to reevaluate some things so that i can make up that time for me. i want (and need) to keep working out. i want to keep crafting. i want to see my friends and i want to have time time with jj, not just fall back time knowing i'll come home and see him eventually. i want to be able to really get into meal planning and start cooking more. possibly most of all, i want to save money. i bet if that one thing could get under control, it'd be easy sailing with everything else.

jj says i worry too much. although there's much to worry about (read: money), he's right - i probably should chill out some. i don't like that i get in these funks and worry myself to death and there jj sits, totally content and happy with the right now. it's aggravating, really, because i so want to be like that. i wish i could be more like that, but at the same time, i know it's a good thing to think and plan ahead. but, shouldn't i be able to accomplish that planning without worrying?

to be fair, sometimes i am pretty carefree, but usually that time only comes around in june, july, and august. and, already, i'm worrying about what to do come august, because we're definitely going to have to move, so that'll mean stress when looking for another house, packing everything up, and spending more money on the move itself (and that'll mean another birthday spent moving and unpacking - boo).

for now, i do have to keep my focus on my job. while school is a very stressful place right now, it just comes with the territory - part of teaching a TAKS test grade means things are not gonna be super fun until after april 26th. plus, i don't see any immediate resolutions in terms of how to deal with how much shit is going to hit the fan after the budget cuts are actually implemented. but, at least there's only about a month left until the test, and at least i have a job. things could definitely be worse.

in sum: time to stop worrying (and probably complaining) and let it be.

oh and also: that picture really has nothing to do with anything other than it makes me smile, and there's no better to destress than with a smile due to seeing a little baby kittens with its tail frizzed. why not?